Five Things That May Exclude Me From the Mommy Club

Right now there is such a Mommy culture. Maybe there always has been and I just didn’t notice till I became a mom myself. Or maybe technology has given moms a new way to connect and share experiences. The Internet has definitely played its part with an abundance of mom centric memes and blogs. And I have to admit I love it. I love reading parenting blogs, especially comedy ones. Laughing at the struggles we share can be so cathartic. I do find, however, that while I can totally relate to so much of the mom culture there are a few of the biggest mom stereotypes that just aren’t me. Jokes about those things still make me laugh at times but don’t give me the same “Preach, sister” type feeling. So can I still join the mommy club if:

1. I Don’t Like Wine

 

With the exception of a couple really sweet ones like plum wine (which I’m not sure actually counts as wine) I’m not a wine fan. Which not only makes me an outcast as a mom but probably as a woman in general. I do love super froofy drinks with umbrellas in them though, so there’s that. If I’m going to drink it’s probably going to be a mixed drink or hard cider or something similar and I rarely drink anymore. I have the most fun drinking when I’m in a group of friends and that doesn’t happen often sans kids these days. I’d rather have a cup of herbal tea to unwind or a bowl of ice cream or another sweet treat during my brief grown-up time after the kiddo’s in bed. Which I guess pigging out after bedtime is a mommy cliché too, so that might still keep me in the running.

2. I’m Not That Annoyed by Children’s Television. 

 

Like most adults I don’t find watching Dora for hours on end a laugh riot. And when I go to turn on some grown-up tv after bedtime and Netflix is still on the kid profile “Oh God no” are usually the exact words going though my head. But I’m not nearly as annoyed by children’s programming as I thought I would be. (I am annoyed by the constant cartoon theme songs running through my head though). Maybe I’ve just gotten used to it but it doesn’t make me want to gouge my eyes out. Admittedly, even though experts recommend you engage with children while they watch tv, I often put it on when I’m busy or need a rest and am not really watching. But I do still directly see quite a bit of it. I also cheat sometime and try to get Miss Independent to watch cartoons I actually like. They’re usually meant for kids a bit older than her and are rarely educational (yes, she watches educational tv too) but it saves a bit of my sanity. And yes, I’ve always had kids shows that I’ve liked to watch. I watched children’s cartoons quite a bit before I was a mom. Now, however, no matter how much I love a kids show or movie I absolutely will not watch it when there aren’t kids present.

3. I’m Not That Annoyed by Noisy Toys

I always assumed I would hate loud toys. How many times did I hear people say sarcastically “His mom and dad are going to love me” while buying a talking/singing/noise making toy as a birthday or Christmas present? But they rarely bother me unless I’m having one of those days. Similar to the cartoons they do annoy me when they go off and there’s not a kid playing with them. Like the ones that start talking just because you walked by them. Otherwise, I’m pretty good at tuning them out.

4. I’m Not into Pinterest

 

Look, I tried.  I really did. Everyone was all “Pinterest! Pinterest! Pinterest!” and I was like “Sounds cool, I’ll check it out.” Maybe I’m not as bright as I think I am but I find it completely overwhelming. I’ve pinned a few things but I really can’t figure where I should even start. It takes so much time to filter though anything you search for and find what you want, it just isn’t worth it to me. I guess some people find that fun but it just gives me a headache. I’m also not the kind of mom that spends a lot of time setting up cute little crafts and structured activities for my kid. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that). Sure, we make leaf rubbings and hand turkeys and do some educational or just fun activities now and then and I’ve made a few home-made toys. But I’m more of the hand my kid a bunch of art supplies and say “go for it” type mom. I’ll happily waste hours on Facebook but Pinterest sends me running.

5. I Don’t Wear Yoga Pants Unless I’m Staying Home or Going to the Gym

 

The furthest I get from my house in yoga pants (besides the gym) is walking my dogs around the neighborhood. To be clear, I’m not one of those anti-yoga pants people. If that’s what you’re comfortable in, go for it. It’s just not me. Even around the house I’m more likely to wear pajama pants than yoga pants. I have a few pairs I wear at home occasionally. Mostly my R2D2 ones my husband got me for Christmas. I think they’re hilarious in the combination of the mom stereotype and my predilection for the nerdy.


I’m all about dressing for comfort but I prefer to throw on some jeans, cargo pants or shorts before I run out somewhere. I don’t get all dolled up or anything, my hairs always in a braid and I almost never wear make-up, I just like wearing “real pants” to the store. But I totally won’t think any less of you if you’re wearing yoga pants.

So, there you have it. Am I even allowed to be a mom if I don’t wear yoga pants to Target to buy more wine? On the other hand, my house is a mess, at any given time I’m likely to be hiding somewhere eating chocolate, I do direct sales, I post too many pictures of my kid on Facebook and I’ve been known to discuss which local libraries have the best children’s programs with other moms while watching our kids at the park. Oh and of course I have a blog where I write about mom things (sometimes). So maybe I fit in the Mommy Club okay after all.


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